Happiness Exercise #1

My depression is getting out of hand. I have to get my shit together. Sis says to do happiness exercises.

1. Karla called me ten times when I called her crying. She called and I was on the phone with someone else, but she called me ten times because she cared about me. And when she spoke, she was so great. So great. I still don't understand why the planets have not collided into each other, or that pigs aren't flying out my window, or that hell hasn't frozen over yet. The fact that she is so fucking amazing on the inside....and jaw-droppingly beautiful on the outside...that she is such a goddamn beautiful human being....it boggles my mind. And she is my friend. And I love her. And she loves me. I still cannot believe my good luck. I just cannot believe it.

2. Even though I fucked up royal, Leo forgave me. I believed it when he told me so. And I love him so, and he was so sweet to me the last time I saw him. He has forgiven me. And I am so happy for that. That Jonathan and Leo love and care for me are beyond words happiness.

3. I am on the third day of the 30 Day Shed. I am proud of myself

4. I took my blind neighbor out for donuts today. I think she had a good time, and it was pleasant to get to know someone. She educated me about misconceptions about blind people.

5. My presence is a comfort for my friend Yanira. Her sisters said I should be a wedding organizer. They were impressed by all the stuff I have done. I have surprised myself.

6. I am enjoying the little bits of French I have learned in one French lesson.

7. I am fitting rather well in a size eight dress--my maid of honor dress. The number is so alien and pleasing to me. There are parts of me I have to tone and tighten, but still. I will rock that dress.

8. One of Yanira's nephews...a fifteen year-old liked talking to me. I felt this magic peace to be able to bond with someone in high school. A kid. It was a nice surprise.