Noli Me Tangere

Breakfast:
1 cup Special K fruit & yogurt cereal and milk

Lunch:
1/2 yummy chocolate cream cheese brownie
1 Filipino pastry with coconut and brown sugar a.k.a. "puto bumbong"
1/2 mongo hopia (another Filipino pastry)
large salad (leafy greens with balsamic vinaigrette and pecans)

Dinner:
1.5 cup rice
1 smallish braised chicken thigh with button mushrooms and rich gravy
water

Baby cried the day the circus came to town...

Breakfast:
1.5 fried omelette w/ a small amount of cherry tomatoes, and a scattering of bacon
2 strawberries
tons of water

I have started drinking a ton of water since yesterday. The miserable heat has inspired me to do so. And it does make me feel more full. Of course, cravings for large amounts of sugary, buttery carbs never go away. I am on my period, so I might give-in soon....

Snack:
chocolate rice cake
caramel rice cake

Lunch:
large salad
12 oz. shrimp in rich crab sauce with peas
1 cup rice
small salad
fortune cookie
brownie

Snack:
13 fries?

Dinner:
12 edamame
1/8 of a bacon cheeseburger
5 oz. stir fry veggies
bite of pork chop
1 icecream sandwhich
lots of white wine

In the history of all bad ideas...........
Today I gave my number to someone who asked for it with romantic intentions. It felt like the most abnormal thing to do. But he had been sweet and nice, and strangely enchanted by me all evening. Maybe it was the wine. The food was not substantial, and I was slightly drunk for several hours. If there is a God, I feel like s/he is looking down at me and pointing and laughing. In movies and even some books, romance is so cute and natural and lovely. But in reality it's really weird and abnormal and awkward. But I guess this isn't romance. This is...an enema. An enema administered with affection. At least it feels like it right now. Part of me is horrified by my decision to give him my number. A lil bit of me is thrilled. If he never calls me I will feel relief and also a lil disappointment. But if he does call me, I'll probably puke or something. After coming from a long term relationship, going into all this is so weird and strange.

Michael Collins

Breakfast:
1.5 cup chicken noodle soup

Lunch:
1.5 cups beef flavored rice-a-roni
1 cosmic bomb

Snack:
1 sliver of cantaloupe

Dinner:
Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers:
grilled chicken, roasted red pepper alfredo sauce with linguini pasta and broccoli florets (260 calories)
tons of water

5 push ups

Pádraic Delaney

Breakfast:
1 speckled banana
1 blueberry bagel smothered in honey nut cream cheese on one side, and butter on another
water

Lunch:
1 cup stir fry brocolli
1/4 lb. Hebrew National Frank
2 chocolate rice cakes
water

Snack:
30+ cheezits (so BAD)
1 mini crunch chocolate

Dinner:
4 (or 3) Gourmet veggie pizza slices
large rootbeer
3 or 4 chocolate truffles

So I haven't been healthy. At all. Haven't worked out in ages. It's been tough.

Martes

Breakfast:
speckled banana
mini bagel with honey nut cream cheese
3/4 cup brown rice & 8 oz. pork humba with sauce
2 chocolate rice cakes

Lunch:
1 cup broccoli and carrot stir fry
3/4 cup brown rice
8 oz. pork humba
1 chocolate rice cake

Snack:
1 5.5 oz. V8
2 small pork carnitas tacos
water

1 piece white chocolate

Lough Leane, County Kerry, Ireland

I want to go here.

Why do hot dog buns smell like feet?

Breakfast:
1 cup Special K fruit & yogurt cereal with milk

Lunch:

large salad: leafy greens, pecans, raisins, and balsamic vinaigrette

1 cup wonton soup with chicken, pork, shrimp

30+ cheesy chips

2 chocolate chip cookies and 1/2 cup milk

Dinner:

12 oz. pad see ew (spelling?)

1 cup ginataan

Supper (or Dinner 2):

1/4 lb. Hebrew National Frank in bun with ketchup and mustard

2 strawberries

3/4 of a cupcake

Yusuke Iseya and Me, Kissing in a Tree....

I will probably get my period in 4 days. So that explains my increase in hormones and overall goofiness. So after a brief visit today from my aunt, uncle, and cousins (Yay!!), my mom's trip has ended. We had such a great time that I am overwhelmed and surprised. We spent most of the time laughing and sharing stories.

Favorite Memories:

- Making mom watch "North and South." Even though mom didn't overtly drool like sis and I, by the end of the 4-part BBC miniseries, she was giggling as much as we were over Richard Armitage.

- Exposing mom to "Coffee Break Spanish." She laughed at the cuteness when Mark (from the show) started teaching Spanish songs, and soon we were both singing along with him. I made her listen to some episodes while I cooked some meals, and she really got into it!

- Mom really loved our slow and relaxed walk up Solano Avenue. We discovered this amazing antique shop, this small Asian market with nicely priced items, and even an "upscale bakery" (as mom put it) mom approved of.

I talk a lot of smack about my mother, and now that she is gone I am ready to bawl my eyes out. I did it too, for a second, and then got that out of my system. Mom and I have been going through similar doldrums, and it is a wonderful surprise that we have managed to be each other's sunshine this week. She was very generous and loving and fussy, the way moms are. When I read her a story from the creative writing class I took, her eyes got big as saucers, and she asked me who wrote the story. She said, "Which part was yours?" because she thought it was a story written collaboratively by the entire class. When I told her I wrote it all she swore that I had talent, and should be published. Aah, the wonderful and kind bias of a mother! That was exactly the response I wanted. I wanted to impress her and get positive feedback, and she gave it to me.

I spent the entire time holding my breath, waiting for the random spurts of fighting that usually occurs. The nagging, the lectures, the words that break backs, that rips hearts. But it seems there was little need for it. Towards the end she started taking over my kitchen, and then my temper started to flare up. I managed to keep it under control and almost suddenly, she is gone. So just when we were starting to get on each other's nerves, it was time to part. So...good timing. I miss her already!

Look at this Sexy Creature!

Wow, what a hottie! He's so beautiful! *droooooooooooool*

When my Baby Smiles at Me I Go to Rio

So my mom is here. From Tuesday til Saturday. Of course, now that she is here I am too discombobulated to write out my meals. My sense of time has disappeared. I am so confused. I didn't even show for an appointment because I thought tomorrow would be Wednesday. Of course, it is not. It is now Thursday, goddammit! My former job has called me as well. It looks like they want me back. Half of me is excited, and half of me is quaking in fear. This time around they want me to deal with middle school. Joy. I am probably going to be tutoring algebra. I loved algebra. But that was...geez, during 1997-2000. It's been a while. I've had life happen to me. There has been no room in my life for algebra. I need to relearn it. It is 5:26 am, and I keep looking up the school I have been assigned to. At a website I found, parents graded this school 5/10. Yikes. I researched the ethnic makeup, and it looks like this school have a sizable Asian population. So maybe no more weird looks from teachers and parents. At least the school's website is cheerful enough. I look at the pictures of the children's faces, and try to whip out any maternal or romantic feelings about preteens and teenagers. The children's faces are so much older than the young 'uns I am used to. You can see their intelligence bubbling under the surface, their personalities, their violently pumping hearts. I am scared out of my ass!

The Wind that Shakes the Barley

Breakfast:
1 cup Special K fruit & yogurt cereal & milk hybrid

Lunch:
large salad: leafy greens, pecans, raisins, balsamic vinaigrette

5 edamame

10 oz. leftover Japanese food dish: yam, shrimp, ground beef, veggie, egg hybrid

1 peach

5 push ups (This time around, after asking Brian to spot me and hearing his advice, I decided to do these with my nose touching the carpet as much as possible. It has made the task even harder. I am glad I started doing these the "cheating way"because it has given me the strength to even attempt doing them right. It is almost impossible for me to do these. It is supremely difficult.)

Snack:
7 fried dumplings (meat & veggies)

Dinner:
1 barbeque chicken breast
3 deviled eggs (with mayo & mustard & bacon)

2 cups Aloe drink

16 situps total

Soya Bean!

Breakfast:
chocolate chip bagel with strawberry cream cheese (a strangely odd combination)

Lunch:
3 or 4 rolls (eel, avocado, tempura?)

several yummy bean things (edamame?)

1 cup hybrid Japanese food dish (egg, beef, veggies, yam?, etc.)

green tea

nutella and banana chocolate crepe with vanilla bean ice cream and whipped cream

Dinner:
1/4 lb. Hebrew National Frank in bun with mustard and ketchup

1/2 red bean bun

1 gulp of vitamin energy drink

30 minutes cardio on threadmill

Ryan!

Breakfast:
3/4 cup milk
2 cups Special K fruit & yogurt cereal

Lunch:
large plate salad: leafy greens, raisins, pecans, Balsamic vinaigrette

1.6 cup rice
12 oz. chicken adobo

1 cup Ruby Red grapefruit juice

water

8 situps
10 push ups

Dinner:
1/2 of salmon & pepperjack cheese crepe
1/2 of nutella, banana, almond nut, whipped cream

1 polvoron
1 Obama Cosmic Chocolate
1 cup concoction: 1/2 cup milk & 1/2 cup kahlua

I am afraid of heights!

Wire-walker Philippe Petit crosses between the World Trade Center twin towers in 1974.

Ryan Lochte = Yum!

Many thanks to Michelle for introducing me to this particular hottie competing in the Olympics!

Setecientos

Breakfast:
1 side of a blueberry bagel with honey nut cream cheese (yum!)

Snack:
6 oz. sauteed mushrooms
1 stuffed mushroom (w/cream cheese & bacon)

Lunch:
1 cup pad thai
6 oz. chocolate cake

Early Dinner?
large plate of salad: leafy greens, pecans, raisins, Balsamic vinaigrette

1/4 lb. Hebrew National beef franks
1.5 cup rice

small box of raisins

water

Snack:
blueberry bagel with honey nut cream cheese

1 cup Ruby Red grapefruit

15 push ups and 8 situps and many side lifts and bicep and tricep exercises

Hoy es el catorce de agosto de dos mil ocho

I did an hour of cardio on the threadmill and 20 minutes on the bike. I had forgotten to bring the water bottle I had prepared when I left my apartment, so I had to take a good swig of water before getting on the threadmill. And once I was on the threadmill I had to mentally ignore my dry mouth. Listening to "Coffee Break Espanol"during an hour's worth of cardio is not as captivating as the soap opera of the "Twilight"series. I did chant along with Kara, practicing different Spanish phrases, assuming my voice was not loud enough to be heard above the hum of the other threadmills and workout machines.

When I got off the threadmill I was so light-headed and tired that I was in a daze. There was this gorgeous tall and muscled blonde who was walking in my direction and smiling with this smugness. He looked like he had something sarcastic and snotty to say, and I just looked at him blankly. I did not understand why he was smiling at me, and it never occurred to me that he wanted to talk. I just looked at his pretty face with barely any comprehension because I was tired as hell. It was only moments later when he realized I wasn't going to respond to whatever it was he felt compelled to say that I realized that my mouth was in a tight grimace, a fixed scowl. Of course now I entertain the idea that he wanted to flirt, while back then I assumed he was just being a gorgeous jerk who wanted to laugh at me for being exhausted and sweaty. He had been looking at me intently. Most guys these days seem more than a little afraid to look at me (aside from the jerks who hit on anyone with a hole between their legs). I guess I hold myself very stiffly. They smell my "fuck you!" from a mile away. It's unconscious. I always think I'm this vivacious sexy thing, but when I am in public and around men, I find my entire body stiffening, and my posture assuming that of a boxer, ready to punch faces, my fists tight. And here I had fancied myself this big flirt. Haha! What should I do? Maybe I need to take a shot of tequila every time I go out. Loosen myself up ;-)

Dinner:
1 large (well, generous) plate of salad: leafy greens, pecans, and raisins with balsamic vinaigrette

1.5 cup of rice

12 oz. chicken adobo

water

1 oz. of Manila Shortbread polvoron

I also did 5 very weak push ups before dinner. I don't really know why I feel compelled to do them. I'm not sure exactly what it does. Part of me is hoping it will tighten my arms, give them a bit of definition. I am also hoping it does more than that. Ever since I've gotten on this push up/ situps kick, I find myself ignoring the machines. I hope that isn't my downfall. Push ups and situps exhaust me to the point that doing machines feels too daunting at this point. Maybe later, when I've built my endurance, I can include machines in my routine.

Midnite Snack:
3 chocolate chip cookies! Gahhhhh!

Jacknife Lee Remix

I stayed up pretty late last night, and so my breakfast is basically lunch. It makes me queasy sleeping in and going to bed so late all the time. I feel like I have permanent jetlag. I need to start sleeping at a decent hour.

Breakfast/Lunch:
As you can see on the top right, too much. I've been feeling compelled to eat our leftovers. Ugh. Not a good idea. I just feel guilty eating anything new while the old food is sitting lonely in the fridge.

So,

1 cup of rice (half jasmine, half rice-a-roni-butter and sodium party)
8 oz. spinach and mushrooms (attempts at healthiness) which were stir fried with olive oil, salt, and garlic powder
10 oz. chicken adobo
4 oz. scalloped potatoes (ughhh! yuck! No more processed food for me! The taste was so artificial!)
8 oz. shrimp, cherry tomato, basil, butter dish

water

And macapuno tart for dessert

I was already grossly stuffed when I decided on dessert. I had to, my tongue was unhappy. It was an unholy combination of food. I need to get off my case about forcing leftovers down my throat.

I did do 8 situps and 5 push ups before eating. My arm muscles were shaking in disbelief and weakness as I did them.

Fenomenal

Breakfast:
1 cup of rice
8 oz weird Filipino sweet & sour fish dish
8 oz. Indian peas and cheese
8 oz. okra with rich seasonings

1 stuffed mushroom (cream cheese/bacon goodness)

water

1 cup of ginatan

I did 8 situps and 5 very weak push ups. My entire body is so sore, and I'm really tired. I have all sorts of crap to do today, and I've basically screwed myself over because my body really wants to rest and nap.

Lunch:
1/4 cup rice
6 oz. Indian peas and cheese
10 oz. okra with seasonings
all sitting on a medium-sized bed of plain spinach

1 small box of raisins (this is me being very good. My tummy was stuffed, but I was craving sugar. It's weird how delicious raisins are. Certainly not as pleasurable as carbs loaded with butter and sugar and chocolate, but satiating and oddly satisfying still)

water

Dinner:
1 cup rice
14 oz. chicken adobo

2 strawberries (again, desperate for sugar)

water

Before dinner I did 8 situps and 5 push ups. My arms could barely do the push ups, they are so weak and tired. I can actually feel the emotions of my muscle cells (if there are such things) in my arms, turning to themselves with surprise and ask each other: "Is she really trying to do this?"

After two days not doing cardio and whining about how tired I am, I need to get back on that cardio shit. Hopefully tomorrow?

Decadence

Dinner was absurd. I had spent the entire day cooking adobo, and when sis got home, she made stuffed mushrooms. I helped.
------------------------------------------------------------

Dinner:
one cup hybrid of rice and rice-a-roni (sodium and butter goodness)
12 oz of chicken adobo
5 baked stuffed mushrooms (stuffed with cream cheese/fried bacon good times).

two pieces of chocolate from Cosmic

water

--------------------------------------------------------------

The mushrooms were the divas of the meal. You could smell the oregano from the mushrooms, and the flavor was ridiculous.

The meal was so decadent. When it was over, we all sat there, talking about how rich everything was. Brian looked like he was smiling through the entire meal. He was stunned. I think sis and I were shocked at how pleasant it felt to stun someone with our cooking. Made us feel damn good.

Kinda funny that dinner was so decadent when I had spent the whole day feeling like Ahnold, randomly doing push ups, trying to think of myself as one of those muscle men. Haha!
Still, when I move my arms the strange pain is so exhilarating. It will probably seriously suck tomorrow. I probably will have a hard time moving my arms up. It is funny how a few push ups will ruin my upper body strength. I'm so weak up there! Let's see how tomorrow goes. I hope it's tolerable.

Look out, Ahnold!

Just did ten push ups. All the ones I've been doing are "girlie" ones (I wish this style of push ups was called something else). As I do them, I feel strangely in awe of myself. And proud. I used to think I couldn't even do one. One day I'll get comfy enough to try the penis versions (hah!). I hope I'm doing them right...

Erstwhile

Breakfast:
two bowls cereal Special K fruit & yogurt (with 1 cup milk)

Lunch:
large plate of salad: leafy greens with balsamic vinaigrette, pecans, and raisins
one cup rice (or was it 1.5?)
2 oz. diniguan (more sauce than content)
8 oz. Filipino leftovers (not exactly sure what it is...Chicken cocido?)
generous buttery shortbread cookie with pecans
water


I am proud of my workout yesterday. I can't see myself doing it today. My upper body feels so stiff and sore. I can't believe five pushups did that. I just had breakfast, so I'll lay off on the pushups until my stomach is settled. It seems my tummy is strangely queasy in the morning these days. I need to incorporate some green in my diet. Boo!

Chiaroscuro

Breakfast:
one cup of rice
four strips of bacon
one fried egg
One Goldilocks boat tart (ube!)
one cup of Ruby grapefruit juice
water

Lunch:
3/4 cup rice
3/4 cup peas and cheese (Indian)
1 cup okra and seasoning
3 oz. leftover tandoori chicken

1 cup peanutbutter chocolate icecream
1 Hershey's Sundae pie

8 situps
5 pushups
16 (or 32?) crunches

I did an hour on the threadmill. The only reason I was able to keep it up was because I was listening to "New Moon" on my ipod. Part of me is anxious to end this book because it has caused me several nights of bawling like a maniac. But part of me doesn't want it to end because it makes for a good workout. When it is over, I guess I would go back to listening to "Coffee Break Spanish." Or short stories from NPR or The New Yorker. All of that high brow stuff. But there is something about listening to a tragedy that gets you transfixed, and your body moves as if detached from your head. I was able to exist strictly within my head, and my body was just this odd thing below me. The odd thing is that while 80% of me has so much disdain for this reading material, 20% of me is mesmerized.