Only in Dreams

This pic reminds me of the first pet that ever entered our household. My brother was pretty neglectful (it was his pet), and in the end, our poor hamster had a ghastly death. It's always haunted me, and I always felt it affected my karma. I hope I meet our old hamster in heaven someday, and that he (or she? I forgot the gender) will shake my hand and forgive me for my part in failing to keep him alive or happy. Maybe we'll even be friends. That would be the best.

Watching hamsters eat is both delightful and frightening. It always appears that they are choking because they fearlessly chomp on food twice the size of their head. But their gusto is so exciting and bizarre.

Bibimbap

Breakfast:
2 cups buttered asparagus
1.5 cups of rice
2 oz. spiced anchovies
water

Lunch:
cheeseburger from "Amanda's Feel Good Fresh Food"- an eatery in Berkeley (Meaning, it tastes healthy, has whole wheat bun, a relatively smallish meat patty, and lots of lettuce. All of the food there is guilt-less)
tea (no sugar)

1.5 micro chocolate chip cookie (From AFGFF, which explains the miniscule portioning for dessert. But the cookie was reeeally delicious)

My stomach was satiated, especially after I drank up all my tea, but it was hard ignoring my mouth hunger. I wanted to keep munching--a sensation that I usually wrongly translate as still being hungry. I let time pass and felt that mouth craving slowly going away. Thank God!

Dinner:
medium salad with balsamic vinaigrette

1.75 cup of mushroom and garlic soup

slice of toast

water

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

Breakfast:
2 bowls of cereal Healthy Heart Maple Brown Sugar with milk

Lunch:
1 cappuccino slimfast

Dinner:
medium salad with balsamic vinaigrette

1 cup rice
8 oz. salmon marinated in vodka, and seasoned with peanut sauce (the vodka taste not present, so it didn't taste like ass)

water

The First Debate

Haha! Found this at Racialicious...

I WANNA SEE THIS.

I really wanna see Equus. I reeeeeeeeeeally NEED to see this. Anyone up for a quick flight to New York for a show on Broadway?

The Year of the Bros

This is the Year of the Bros. For some reason I have spent so much of this year thinking about how much I love my brothers. A lot. It's not like I ever hear from them or get attention from them. It's not like they pushed me out of a speeding bus and saved my life. And sis and I will swallow a lot of shit in life before we realize we are backed into a corner and it'll suddenly occur to one of us to call one of them. And those rare times that we reach out to them they always follow through. I am just happy that they exist, that they are my brothers, that I got to experience some of my life with them, that we are always connected if only by blood. That, in their own way, they care about us and want us to be alright. And they relate to us because we all struggled together as brothers and sisters, and are extremely protective of each other, and triumph and suffer together. I love that I can know, without any doubt, that they are out there, with their bizarre and beautiful versions of American masculinity, and that they are rooting for their baby sisters in their quiet way.

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo

(Homage to the Lotus sutra)

I did an hour of cardio today! Yay me! Every step was painful because I haven't exercised in a while. I kept staring at the clock pathetically. My muscles are sore, and I really had to pump my arms to keep going towards the end because there was just no more energy left. I was covered in this thin layer of sweat that was both hot and cold at the same time. Gross.

Bits and Pieces

Lindsay has finally verbally outted herself. Hooray! I know I have probably desecrated my blog by posting this picture, but I do think they're hot. Well, Samantha Ronson, anyway. Me and my lame attraction to Mission district cookie-cutter lesbians. LiLo's lame Disney-skank-meter went low as soon as I found out she was all over Ronson. I just want them to make a video, and send it to me. So hot. Speaking of hot, LiLo's boobies are amazing in this picture. *hands over barf bag* I can't stop staring!

Manha De Carnaval

I am practicing for the residents at the nursing center, and my right hand is exhausted, and my mouth is sore from playing my clarinet. It's funny how right when my body is falling into intense fatigue that my heart is aligned with the music, and the music sounds great. I feel like playing at the lobby of a smoky bar of a seedy motel, where lovers meet for quick trysts at obscure hours of the night. And I want an old timer to hum along with the music with tears in his eyes, and then turning to me after and saying, "Play it again, babe."

You know how to whistle, don't you?

You just put your lips together--and blow.


Breakfast:
one bowl of Healthy Heart Maple Brown Sugar cereal with milk

Lunch:
Healthy Choice: Cafe Steamers- Chicken Margherita
water

2 scoops of Rocky Road ice cream

By the Great Hornspoon!

We had a staff meeting at the junior high where I work. The school had hired this man from the Youth Development Peer Network to talk about behavior guidance intervention. We spoke about disrespectful behavior, and I felt relieved to hear that other, more seasoned teachers still felt as flustered as I do with kids who "act out." Mr.P, the dude who spoke, told us about certain behavior assumptions to consider:

Behavior Assumptions

1. People are social beings, with a need to belong.

2. People are understood by how they see themselves in a situation, and are sometimes reinforced by how others see them in a situation.

3. People are decision-makers.

4. Behavior is purposeful.

5. Behavior is part of a whole, part of a pattern.

6. Behavior is directed at one of these goals:

a. attention
b. power and control
c. revenge and retribution
d. withdrawal from people and challenges

We were all thinking about the problem children in our classes as we were discussing this, but I couldn't help but think about how this relates to adults as well. Obviously. Behavior = human race. I mean, the material is something I think most people instinctively know, and yet when thought through, is pretty intense. Mr. P stressed the importance of taking a step back when a student behaves outrageously, and gets us riled up. Being able to separate one's gut reaction and instead respond constructively is the goal. Well, tomorrow is another opportunity! I also have another training session this weekend. I am hoping all of these experiences will help me learn how to deal with the attitude and the button-pushing.

Monkey Pulls the Turnip

Brunch:
large salad: leafy greens, raisins, balsamic vinaigrette
1 large square of dried seaweed
1 bowl Special K fruit & yogurt cereal with milk

Dinner:
3 slices of pepperoni & garlic DiGiorno
2 glasses of grape cranberry juice
1 cup peach ice cream!

Tom's Midnight Garden

Breakfast:
blueberry bagel with honey nut cream cheese

Dinner:
12 oz. almond chicken
2 cups fried rice with chicken, beef, and shrimp
4 oz. tiramisu
1 fortune cookie

candy: strawberry belts & sour watermelons

In anticipation for my gluttonous dinner out with a friend, I didn't have lunch at all. Usually this leaves me exhausted and pissed, but not this time. I think I was looking forward to the meal too much. My friend had suggested Cheesecake, and as soon as I heard that every part of me tingled in excitement. But we ended up at P.F. Changs. Which is good. But their desserts are pretty lame compared to cheesecake. The tiramisu tasted mediocre. Still, I really enjoyed dinner a lot. We caught a film after, and indulged in candy as well. After having gone on two dates where the food was delicious, but everything tasted like sand because my company was...sand-like...it is good to be with a friend and feel comfortable to eat yummy things and enjoy them.

Jacuzzi Club

Breakfast:
bowl of Special K fruit & yogurt cereal with milk

Lunch:
large gross salad (the leafy greens tasted metallic) with strawberries and pecans
1 cup rice, 9 oz. porkchop, some spinach and green papaya

Snack:
hopia

Dinner:
I had a slimfast before heading to my second shift today. It is sitting in my stomach in a very unpleasant manner, and I long to eat pasta. Pasta with a yummy sauce. Pasta alle cinque pi? Yes. I think I will cook that soon. I've been cooking too much lately (porkchops, chicken tinola, that Emeril spicy New Orleans chicken recipe), but it seems I can't stop. All I want to do is plan the next meal. We do have a Healthy Choice lasagna microwavable meal winking at me in the freezer. Technically it's wrong. I can't have that after my lame "dinner" of Slimfast! But I want it. That Slimfast was just lammmmme.

Dia Duit

"Hello" in Irish Gaelic. From hearing it, it's pronounced "Jee-ah ditch."

"Slán go fóill" is "Bye for now." Pronounced "Slawn goh foal."

I started cooking that New Orleans dish I cooked last week at midnight. Which might explain my sense of exhaustion and upside-down feeling today. I cooked for several hours (kind of a labor intensive recipe), and was really into it. But towards the end I felt my energy just evaporate, and I fell into bed smelling of spices, and exhausted. Then my alarm blared loudly. I had set it at 6am because I wanted to wake sis up for her work. So, with my head swimming in gasoline and cotton, I leapt out of bed and woke sis up. Of course, with all that effort the BART train had to have major hour-long delays, and sis was late anyway. Dammit.

I think I snacked around 1 or 2 am. I can't remember what.

Breakfast:
1 chicken thigh with mushrooms in rich sauce (spicy!)
1.5 cup rice
3 currant cookies
1.5 cup milk with mudslide mixed in (I was hoping the dairy would erase the metallic-like spice of the chicken, but it made it worse!)

Sis said the recipe was a success, but when I ate it for breakfast it tasted so odd. I hope it's just that fact that I cooked it.

5 lame push ups
10 situps

Dinner:
8 oz. chicken with mushrooms
1 cup rice

brownies!

water

I am groggy and sleepy as hell, but I must not sleep. Gots to prepare for my second day of work tomorrow. I don't want to. I am scared out of my ass.

Being your Daughter is not for the Weak of Heart

Mom is playing mindgames right now. Not cool.

Breakfast:
bowl of Special K Fruit & Yogurt cereal and milk

Lunch:
large salad consisting of leafy greens, pecans, raisins, and balsamic vinaigrette
6 oz. porkchops, 3/4 cup rice
1 chocolate rice cake

Dinner:
1 cup rice
medium-sized amount of chicken tinola: 7 oz. chicken, 3/4 cup chicken soup, green papaya, and bunch of spinach

Oh, timing is of the essence when you're living in the supernow

Breakfast:
3/4 cup rice
1 fried egg
2.5 pieces of bacon
3 or 4 smokies

hopia

hot cocoa

Not being healthy lately. Need to get back up on that pogo stick.

Lunch:
1 cup rice
chicken tinola: 1 medium sized chicken thigh, 4 oz. green papaya, some spinach, chicken soup

Dinner:
1.3 cups rice
6 oz. pork chop
1.5 cup Soy Mango icecream

I am so full. Still, as I look at this blog, I feel a lil sense of peace in one observation: my rice portions have not been atrocious. It's always about 1 cup or a lil more. Gone are my fun childhood days of 3 or 4 cups of rice. Those were fun days. Days of glory and sunshine, and eating 5 McDonald's cheeseburgers at a time (when I was 10 years-old, and ravenous all the time). My veggie intake is low. Need to work on that. And workouts! The most I managed last week was just one 20 minute cardio-fest. Lame. Need to fix that.

Back Wheel of Your Bicycle

"I wanted the world to make sense so we'd all be happy instead of tense, so I made up lies that fit real nice and made this sad world paradise. Nice, very nice. Such different people in the same device."

-from the Wind Up Dolls segment of YDRS*. The original idea of this quote came from Kurt Vonnegut from "Cats Cradle:"

Oh, a sleeping drunkard
Up in Central Park,
And a lion-hunter
In the jungle dark,
And a Chinese dentist,
And a British queen -
All fit together
In the same machine.
Nice, nice, very nice;
Nice, nice, very nice;
Nice, nice, very nice -
So many different people
In the same device.

I guess you can read into the message of these things whatever you want. But to me, it's about religion. Or control. Hah! Same thing.

*The Yard Dogs Road Show put on a great show yesterday. I really loved it. It was magical. The fashion made me swoon, and the music was great. And who can resist burlesque, sword-swallowers, and men wearing eye makeup? Thanks, sis, for telling me we couldn't miss this.

Republicans,

stop calling Obama elitist

Because the real reason you don't like him is that he's smarter than you.

- Bill Maher

Barracuda

Breakfast:
hopia

Lunch:
Slimfast
1/2 of tasteless soft & yucky peach
1 chocolate chip cookie

It's boiling hot. I have been doing errands all day, walking around in shorts and braving the lecherous stares and obscene groans of random men (the ones who lust after anyone obviously female). I was buying groceries when one of the staff of Lucky's saw me and groaned really loudly. So much for professionalism!

I have a date tonight. This guy has been calling me every night for the past couple of days. These phone calls have revealed that we have nothing in common, but we are too polite to say so. Maybe I will say so tonight. Maybe not. Maybe it will be fun. Maybe it will suck royal ass. He asked me if I wanted to go to a bar after or go dancing. It sounds like he is making this an event. Eek

"The French have said au revoir to the franc, the Germans have said auf wiedersehen to the mark, and the Portuguese have said... whatever to their thing."

-"Millions"

My hand doing an impression of "The Borg"

Be afraid. Resistance is futile.

My Darling Villain

Breakfast:
1 cup Special K fruit & yogurt cereal w/milk

Lunch:
4 steamed okra drizzled in this crazy good sauce (recipe from Emeril...he calls it a new New Orleans recipe so it's SPICY)
5 lil smokies
tons of water

Sis made lunch. And it was so good!

Dinner (?):
1 cup rice
1 cup ampalaya with tiny shrimp and egg
4 fried lil smokies
water

Dessert:
1/2 hazelnut chocolate cookie

20 minutes cardio, but I think it only worked my lower half. All the treadmills were occupied, and there was a line. So I got on this weird machine that only works the lower half, and makes you feel like you are see-sawing on a boat, and always on the verge of falling. The most annoying workout machine!

Watching the Detectives

Breakfast:
1 cup Special K fruit & yogurt cereal w/milk

Lunch:
medium salad: leafy greens & balsamic vinaigrette
1 cup rice
1 cup ampalaya with egg and tiny shrimp
~3 strips bacon crumbled on top

sip Berry Fulfilling

Snack During Movie:
1/2 chocolate chip cookie
1/2 snickerdoodle

Dinner:
3 or 4 pieces grilled asparagus in crazy butter sauce
3/4 cup rice with yummy coconut lime sauce
1 skewer with three shrimp, 1 piece of onion, 2 peppers, and 2 tomato pieces
1 dulce de leche cupcake

Óró Sé Beatha 'Bhaile

Breakfast:
4 strips of bacon and 1 fried egg
1.5 cup of rice

Lunch:
8 oz. tuna casserole
6 oz. passion fruit yogurt

Snack:
3 puto bumbongs

Dinner:
1/2 cup ampalaya with tiny shrimp, egg, and tomatoes
3/4 cup rice
6 oz. pork humba