Shadows grow so long before my eyes

And they're moving
across the page
Suddenly the day turns into night
Far away
from the city
Well, don't
hesitate
cause your love
won't wait..............

It is so lovely to end this week with a decadent, rich meal with sis and Vanessa. It was just really great. Vanessa looked radiant and beautiful. I love men and that one-of-a-kind-energy you only get from penis, but I love love love women so much. Happy about my relationships with women these days. I have friends and have become friends with jewels. When I think of these women, and how lucky I am to have them as friends, I feel richer than anything. I am grateful.

I came to a realization during the meal: that I find Dr. Levine ridiculously attractive. I hope I am as maddeningly sexy at 64. She is so beautiful. Not sexy in a jerk-off-when-you-are-alone-and-no-one-is-watching-kinda way. Not at all. She's just wonderful. Her aura, her fierce intelligence, her brain. And I think she is lovely to look at. I can look at her all day. She is a cat, she looks like she climbs trees, she is radiant. There must be a God that women can be so beautiful outside of the narrow definition of beauty offered by the media. Women like Dr. Levine and Dr. Barnes exist, and I find them so sexy and beautiful older women. None of them look like they diet or are even connected to conventional traditional ideas of anything at all, be it gender, sex, human species, mammal, gram positive organisms, eukaryote, etc. They are outside of everything. They are beyond it. They are gods. They are just really warm, kind, fiercely intelligent, magical women. I love them so much.

I continue to be in awe of my growing friendships with Yanira and Wivine. I am trying to take it in the way I did when I first realized the friendships forming with the lovely ladies in Physio. They are unexpected gifts. Whether they be a reason, a season, or a lifetime, I am so blessed to be allowed to have been allowed to share some of their time on this planet.

SPRING BREAK! I can now rest (I hope!). I haven't slept decently in ages. I am excited about sleep. Now that I finally have my period, I am back to daydreaming about my crush. I am enjoying torturing myself with thoughts and fantasies about him. Bliss. I hope I can reign it in somehow. Today was so satisfying.