Transverse Process

I need to make myself write the three positive things on the day, and not the day after. Somehow I think the exercise is supposed to force me to think positively when one is not feeling so hot, and not wait til I've had some time for bad feelings to go away.

1. Hung out at the nursing center yesterday. I had been practicing all morning some new pieces on my clarinet --and was feeling alright about it-- but when I sat down to play for everyone at the nursing home my hands shook and my head began to spin. I messed up a whole bunch in the beginning, getting confused about how many flats and sharps were in each piece, and just being downright rattled in general. The good news is I stuck it through, managed to get my bearings, and by the end had good ol' Jack and his beautiful wife totally rapt as I played their favorites. I would call out the name of each song and two things would happen: first Jack would say, "What?" and his wife would tell him, or she would hear the title and arc an eyebrow, looking pleased. The second thing that would happen is that the two Filipino male nurses (one of them about my parent's age) would speak in tagalog about my music choices...and thankfully it was all positive stuff. I would hear these two different groups say that I was playing all their favorites. "You are playing all the music we know!" Jack's wife said at one point. Which made me damn happy because I had purposefully sought out music of the 30s and 40s. Music for the seniors...music my grandparents would love.

2. I visited Victoria at her bedside (she is bedridden) and helped her during her lunch. She was trying to stab an entire meat patty and was having a hard time. So I cut it into pieces and helped position the fork in her shaky hands so she could eat easier. She told me "Not only are you very beautiful, but you also have a very big heart. I am not your family or your friend, who am I? I am a stranger to you! And yet you help me! God bless you!" She was saying this as I was leaning over her, trying to cut her grotesque lunch meat into small portions. It was a really nice thing for her to say, and I tried not to get emotional when she said it. Then I just sat with her as she told me about the time George Bush came down and sat with her and hung out. The first time I met her she told me it was Ronald Reagan. She had once been a nurse and taken care of Ronald Reagan when he was sick in the hospital. I totally believed her. So either she has confused George Bush with Ronald Reagan, or she is demented and says a lot of fantastic stories because her mind has taken off in different directions.

3. Always fun to watch "Dancing with the Stars" with sis.